· By Fiber Champion
Let’s Talk About Poop, Baby
"Let’s talk about (poop) for now, to the people at home or in the crowd
It keeps coming up anyhow - don’t be coy, avoid,
or make void the topic
Cos there ain’t gonna stop it
Now we talk about (poop) on the radio and video shows
Many will know anything goes"
(credits to Salt-N-Pepa)
5-minute skim read / a surprise speed-poop
This is a love letter to poop, to get the conversation - and bowels - moving. To the daydream dookies, distinguished dumps, the novel Number 2s and the darlings of doo-doos - no one in all of humanity could ever survive this cold, cruel world without your smooth passing.
It’s 2022, and taboos have been broken in. Sex, menstruation and poop (finally!) can be part of everyday conversation. Poop Talk hit theatres in 2017 and The National Poop Museum stands proud and popular in the Isle of Wight. Look up ‘Breaking the Taboo on Poop’ on the internet and the search results are endless. So we thank all of you fearless poo taboo fighters - for your bravery and your vulnerability - Thank. You.
For those of you who still face the poo taboo, we are here for you. Your Number 2 Club is here. Your day will come, and it will be glorious.
And for those of you who aren’t pooping and therefore can’t even talk about pooping, that’s okay, too. Because did you know that millions of Americans suffer frequent constipation? And did you know that in another study, they found that 3 out of 5 people who suffer chronic constipation don’t bring it up to their healthcare provider?
This very crisis of constipation brought Poop Like A Champion to life.
So our point is: don’t you ever be embarrassed that you’re not pooping well. It’s way more normal than you’d think. It’s a problem that we can easily push out together.
We are here to bring your poop game to a champion level,
To bestow upon you the magic of strain-free and judgement-free poops,
And to share blissful poo-phoria.
And now that we can all talk about pooping (and not pooping) without gagging, let’s make your Number 2s into Perfect 10s.